C-A-T-S CATS CATS CATS!

 

I love love COLLEGE FOOTBALL. ESPECIALLY KENTUCKY FOOTBALL.

 

WHY I WENT TO COLLEGE….

 

Just kidding… Kind of.

 

GO BIG BLUE

 

 

May as well just say it.

Lately, I have been struggling with the fact that my life isn’t going the way I want it to go.

Ugh. I just said it out loud. There it is. An ugly, selfish, little (kinda big) statement.

At least I am honest, right?

I question what I did to deserve the things that I am dealing with in relationships, spiritually, physically, etc. I have been internally uneasy, but trying to keep a happy face, externally. In times like this one – let’s face it, it happens more than once in a life time, at least for me – I turn to my mom and dad who immediately ask me about the condition of my heart and my relationship with Christ… while also reminding me that I should have gone straight to the Lord for wisdom… and then asked for their prayers. Gotta love the ‘tough love.’

Can I plead the fifth?

I love love love Jesus. I really really do. I love my family and friends. I love volunteering at church. I love serving and working with kids and watching OTHER people come to know Christ’s love. I love the focus of my relationship with Christ to NOT BE on my heart. Double-ouch.

Yep. I am being completely honest… kinda confessing here. I don’t like what focusing on me is going to entail. I don’t mean focusing on me in a selfish way. I mean focusing on me… relinquishing all control of me to God… and dealing with things that I know will most likely be exhausting. (Yes… I am just assuming that it’s going to be exhausting… not even having a little faith that the same God who made this entire universe could get me through a self-examination weekend without putting me into a state of wanting nothing but sleep.)

The funny thing is this (funny in an ironic way… not a haha way): Every time I open my Bible… anytime I get a devotional e-mail… whenever I talk to my mom or dad or anyone who knows me and loves me enough to challenge me… they are telling me that I just need to quit worrying about where God is going to take me and let him take me there. Beautiful. Seriously. That’s what I want. God is good, right? So, if God is good, and he wants good for me, and he has given me everything that I have ever needed and more, why in the world am I questioning giving up control?

I think that sometimes I feel like God is going to make me do something that I hate. I know that’s ridiculous because the Bible tells us that He is the one giving us the desires of our hearts. The Bible doesn’t say, however, that it will always be a comfortable, inside my little box thing. BUT… I have come to realize that my life means so much more than me… which is actually kinda cool. I am not saying that because I am full of myself. I don’t mean this in a gloating sort of way… I mean, that we ARE ALL being used for some great purpose… some HUGE thing that God is doing/going to do. How baffling is that?

One of my devotionals this week challenged me with this statement/question:

A misconception of God can keep some people from surrendering their lives to the Lord. They may think that God wants to use them for His own selfish purposes, and that He doesn’t really know what’s best for them. But why would a God who sacrificed His only Son for us – so that He could have an INTIMATE, eternal relationship with us – want to give us anything but the very best? As the Bible says, ‘Since He did not spare even His own Son for us but gave him up for us all, won’t He also surely give us everything else?’ Romans 8:32

I say these things because I feel like this is just a hard time for everyone. I feel like lots of us are standing on one side of the ravine, knowing fully well, that if we just take a running leap, even with our eyes closed, that we are going to land with two feet firmly planted on the other side. I want you to know that I am praying for all of us.

The most encouraging thing that I have read today:

No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love Him.

1 Corinthians 2:9

I love you all.

P.S. I know that this blog is super long… but this song by Group 1 Crew (“Come Back Home”) sings the words I couldn’t find.

Lord I’ve got a problem
And I can’t find the solution- no
I’m seeing all these people
Always searching for improvement
We’re always looking for that next thing to satisfy
But all I see is broken hearts, so many sleepless nights
Help me Lord to help them
Heal that empty feeling inside and we say

Chorus:
So if you really want to know who you are
No more wondering and looking so far
The truth is right in front of you- don’t let it go
You need to- come back home
Cause everything you need you can find in Him
Faith in yourself to believe again
Don’t let all this time just pass you by
You need to- come back home

No I don’t wanna be alone no
I can’t do it on my own no…

I’m lookin’ all around the world and trying to find who I am
And realizing more and more that it’s the plight of all man
I wanna know what am I here for and where do I stand
Within the scope of all eternity and destiny’s plan
I keep replaying all the things they told me when I was young
That I could be whatever I wanted to be
But I’m far from the dreams I had
cause all I ever seem to feel is bad
I’m trying not to be like dad
or trying to follow every fad – no

From young to oldest we’ve all
Asked ourselves the same question
Questioning if there’s something more
Then where we all have been
Many have spent their lifetime
In research to find solutions
For the purpose of man-kind
And what’s the real reason
Why we’re here and why do
We operate the way we do
And why do continue to
Wonder with out any clues
We won’t put up no more with
Those who try to make us clones
We find ourselves in the blood
Of He who sits on the throne

So, so lost I just can’t find my way
Lord I really need you to help me
So, so lost I just cant find my place

The World’s Largest …

WATER BALLOON FIGHT!

Last weekend, Christian Student Fellowship at the University of Kentucky, broke the world record for the largest water balloon fight. I am a little proud, because my little sister helped organize it all.

Phone convo:

Mom: hey, Kimber…

Kimberly: Mom, I have over 1,000 water balloons in my car… I can’t go over a bump or we’re done. I’ll call you back…

Over 58,000 balloons…

Over 2,500 college students and staff…

Insanity.

Watch it here.

GO BIG BLUE!

Purple Rain… Purple Rain.

As in the song by the artist formerly known as Prince… or the symbol… which I don’t know how to type on my computer. Anyway… last night, I went to the volunteer banquet hosted by my church, Cross Point.

The theme was Cross Point at the Movies… the band played “Purple Rain”… hence, me still singing it this morning. Why can’t I be singing anything from Top Gun? I don’t know. Alas, “Purple Rain,” it is…

It was AMAZING… and entertaining. I am so blessed to be led by some pretty selfless people, that truly have a heart for our world. There are so many people that area responsible for what happened last night that I don’t want to list them because I don’t want to accidentally leave anyone out and hope that a blanket “Thank you” is heard and felt by each staff member that gave their time… and for each person that helped prepare the food or help set up and tear down… or helped entertain us while we were all enjoying our dinner. You all are AWESOME!

When I moved to Nashville, I was itching for an authentic community. I prayed that God would just lead me to the right church… that I would know, without a shadow of a doubt, that that was where I was supposed to be. I found out about Cross Point through a friend of mine that I had known for a few years, that had also moved to Nashville. I began going shortly after moving here (about 2 weeks) and signed up for the Mix (singles group for 20’s & 30’s). After my first MIX event (dinner at Rosepepper in East Nashville), I knew that this was the group of people that I was going “to do life with”… The people here REALLY want everyone here. And it’s not so that they can say that there’s a HUGE group… or so that we can say we have a high attendance. It’s because we love each other. It’s because we know that community is a God-given gift, and because we each know what it’s like to be without a supportive community and how much better it is to know this type of love. These are the people that I can call for anything… even at 2:45 in the morning on Wednesday. It doesn’t matter. They’ll pick up and they’ll be there.

Part 2. “I need to get over myself.”

While I was really really seeking a good group of friends that shared the same faith as me… (I needed some support and accountability)… I also wanted to get over myself. Let me explain. In college, I was involved in church and campus ministries… but my heart wasn’t really in it all the way. There was this desire in me to really love people… to really dig in and build relationships and be involved… but I couldn’t figure out how to do it and was too concerned with whether I could fit in everything I wanted to do and then maybe do “church/volunteer” work on the side. After college, I despised this part of myself… this selfishness that I harbored in my heart… so my prayer, when I moved, was to also find a church that 1) was real and 2) that challenged me. Somewhere that told me to quit resting on my rear end… and to either show other people why I love Jesus or quit pretending. I found that at Cross Point. Did the staff stand at the stage and berate me for my un-volunteering heart? Nope. They simply showed me what it was to love. End of Story. Now… I can’t get enough.

Here it is, plain and simple: I want people to know what it is to have hope… to know grace… to feel peace… and to be baffled by the love of my Jesus. I want people to experience the joy that I know… to finally “get” that there are people in this world that know a GOOD GOD… that understand that we can make a difference for the sad and desperate people that live next door and live in third world countries. I want them to know what it’s like to have fulfillment from being the hands and feet of Christ. I want them to know that there is a good God… that DOES want good things that DOES good things and that uses everything, even my mess ups… for his glory, which is GOOD.

The awesome thing: I know that I am being challenged by a group of people that wants those things, too. Over the past year, these people have caused me to reevaluate my life, and my walk with Christ:

Pete Wilson : Our pastor. He has challenged me through sermons and from just chatting at Starbucks. I consider myself blessed to have such an authentic person leading our church… who who is humble enough to admit he’s human, and who is so passionate about our community that he isn’t afraid of the criticism he receives for sometimes being what people consider “unconventional.”

Brandi Wilson : Our pastor’s wife. Brandi is an amazing lady… she is hilarious, and friendly, and definitely an awesome role model for all young women. I admire her spirit and her attitude, and the way she gives of her time, and her family’s time so that other people may know the joy that she has.

Jenni Catron : Jenni… my best friend’s sister… is the woman that can do it all. I am blessed by her willingness to do anything to get the job done. Her heart is one of gold… you should get to know her, too!

Jes : My crazy, fun, roommate and best Nashville friend. Some times, I need someone to tell me how it is, even when I don’t want to hear it… and she would be the girl to do it. I love that I can be completely honest with her and she doesn’t hold an ounce of judgment toward me whatsoever. Amazing. It’s really hard to find those friends… AND I (FREAKING.. haha) LOVE HER for it!

Karen, Rachel P., Dinger, Kenny, Ben, Lisa, Paul, Mallory, Amber, Elisa, Ashley Warren, the twins (and no, I don’t really hate you Linds) and a ton of other great friends: You are the most awesome group of people. Seriously. I have never in my life had so many people who are willing to drop anything to be there for me when I need someone to be there… I wish that everyone could have a group of friends like you. I love to love you guys!

Pat Rowland : The man responsible for me getting involved with the kiddos at church. Thank you for just asking me to do it. Plain and simple. I want these kids to grow up with the desire to serve and to love others.

Ryan Bult: I would love to have the passion for people that he has. This guy loves EVERYONE and it shows. AWESOME.

Jarrod, Miranda, and Matt : You guys rock. Seriously. I’m not exaggerating. Thank you for all of your hard work every week! I am constantly blown away by your talent and creativity!

I know that I am forgetting people… that’s what happens to me when I am actually trying to thank people because I appreciate them. If I haven’t listed you, it doesn’t mean that I don’t love you and that I am not thankful for you… actually it’s quite the opposite.

The whole point of this blog: I want you to experience an authentic community. I want to make sure that the people I am continually blessed by know it. I want to Love God and Love People. Period.

Happy Monday…

Oh, and by the way… I am STILL singing “Purple Rain”.

Red Velvet.

It’s been a long time since I have blogged. I am not sure whether it’s because I feel like I have nothing to say or if it’s because I have been that busy or because I have been so tired that thinking about what I am saying doesn’t sound like an appealing activity… Whatever the case, I am back with an important question:

Why is Red Velvet Cake such a big deal?

My question is actually a serious one as it has sparked several conversations/debates. It all started when I asked my roommate, Sara, what kind of cake she wanted for her birthday. Jes and I are throwing her a bash at the house… and what kind of birthday party doesn’t have cake? Or, in this case, cupcakes?

Anyway… she answered me via text message while I was riding home from work with my carpooling buddy, Matt. Her answer, “OOOOHHH… RED VELVET CAKE! Thank you!!!!” At this time, I chuckle because 1) I was expecting something like German Chocolate and 2) because I don’t understand the fascination. I turn to Matt and ask him, “Do you like Red Velvet cake? And, if you do, why? Why is it so so special, other than the fact that it’s red?”

To which he replied, “What’s red velvet cake?”

Right… I forget that he is from the north… and apparently Red Velvet cake isn’t as big of a deal up there where it’s cold. Rightfully so… I think that they eat things like warm pies… and warm brownies… and warm anything that will distract them from the fact that they are going to have to sit through a 5-month winter. I then launch into details about red velvet cake… about how the batter is blood red… and then it bakes to a dark burgundy color.

“Does it taste like red fruit or something? Like strawberries or cherries?” Matt asks.

“Nope. Actually… to me… it tastes like Vanilla cake with a pudding-esque flavor with a touch of food coloring.”

“Well, do you put strawberry icing or something on it?”

“Nope. Well… technically, I guess you could, although, I don’t really know how that would taste. Usually, I ice it with cream cheese icing.”

“Hm… Are you making it tonight? Can you take a picture? Maybe I’ll google it…”

The rest of our car ride home, we talked about the quirkiness of red velvet.

Fast forward to the grocery store. Jes and I are meandering around the Belle Meade Kroger getting everything we think that we need for this party that we are about to throw. We get to the baking aisle and I start getting everything that we need for these cupcakes… Red Velvet, of course.

She looks at everything I am throwing in the basket. “Wait, did she want Red Velvet cake?”

“Yep. I know.”

“You know, Rob asked me to make him a Red Velvet cake for his birthday this year. What is the deal with it? It doesn’t really taste like anything different.”

“I know. I agree. Matt and I talked about it on the way home today… although he has never had it so he really couldn’t give me any feedback as to why it’s a big deal.”

Jes’ brilliant conclusion. “Well, I think that people like it only because it’s red.”

You know what? I agree. So… Red Velvet is only a big deal because it’s red.

What do you think?

And… we won!

On Friday, I got to go to the Titans game. This is exciting for all sorts of reasons.

1. I got to go with Jes, Sara, and our new friend, Cooper.
2. We had AMAZING SEATS. See?

AND… 3. We won by ONE point with TWO SECONDS left. Amazing.

Football season is so so close. I can’t wait. That also means that Kentucky basketball is right around the corner…

A dedicated faith.

So many times, it’s so easy for me to just play the part.

Here’s what I mean:

I was raised in a Christian home. For several generations prior to mine, every member of my family have called themselves Christians. My dad was a music minister… my sisters and I were at church every time the doors were unlocked… and sometimes even when they weren’t. Being a Christian was all I knew. I didn’t have to fight for my faith. It was already my “right.”

I read this story and it made me cry because there are so many people in this world who literally have to give it all up to live for Jesus… truly for Jesus.

Mosab Hassan Yousef is the son of one of the most influential, powerful leaders of Hamas… the militant organization in West Bank – the very organization that cripples people with fear. Raised in an extreme Islam home, Mosab – an amazing individual – has renounced his Muslim faith, been ‘disowned by his family’, had to escape his home country and has declared Jesus his Lord.

Here’s an excerpt from his interview:

JONATHAN HUNT: Aren’t you terrified that somebody is going to try to kill you for saying these things — which would be approved of according to parts of the Koran?

MOSAB HASSAN YOUSEF: They got to kill my ideas first, (and) that’s it, they’re already out. So how are they going to kill my idea? How are they going to kill the opinions that I have? … They can kill my body, but they can’t kill my soul.

JONATHAN HUNT: You’re not afraid?

MOSAB HASSAN YOUSEF: As a human, you know, I can be very brave now, I’m not thinking about it at this moment and I feel that God is on my side. But if this will be the challenge, I ask God to give me enough strength.

Read the whole interview.

OR, Watch the video…

It’s my desire that we all pray for Mosab and his family, and for the Muslim community… that they come to know the truth, that they experience joy and peace and the love that I know.

We are so blessed.

I cannot wait.

Those of you who know me well know that I hate being cold and love everything about summer.

What’s funny… I absolutely cannot WAIT until fall. I think that it may be becoming my favorite season… which is weird.

What I love about fall:

1. The t-shirt and shorts weather during the day, but hoodies and jeans at night.

2. College Football and Basketball.

3. Pumpkins. I just like pumpkins.

4. The GORGEOUS fall weekends… bright and sunny without a cloud in the sky… where you can just sit outside and stare at trees and leaves and marvel.

5. Thanksgiving.

6. Chili.

7. Bonfires. REAL bonfires that keep you warm and keep you out late.

8. Good shows. I feel like the music scene picks up in the fall. I might be making that up in my head…

9. Running outside at any time of day… instead of 5 am.

10. Playing in the leaves. Yeah… I still do that.

This morning was so cool… temperature-wise. I honestly thought that I had woken up in September instead of August… I can’t wait!

Are you kidding me?

In other news… Rachel, and her two roommates, received parking tickets for parking in the wrong direction in front of their home on Wednesday night. Prosecutors are calling this the worst case of parking infraction that they can remember. All three women have been issued written citations, and will be charged with “direction confusion”. They have been charged a fine, and will be required to pay the city $11 dollars each by August 15. The city wants to recognize Officer X for his excruciating attention to detail. He has been awarded with the highest honor possible in the parking division – the “I-have-met-my-monthly-quota-early” award. Congratulations to Officer X.

After the commercial break, we will talk about Officers who have gone above and beyond, by making sure people with their alarm clocks turned up to the highest volume are given noise violations. More after the break…

So…

This morning, when I took Palmer out for his morning walk, I passed my roommate’s car (parked the wrong way on the other side of the street in front of our house). It had a parking ticket on it. What???

Then, I looked at my car (parked the wrong way in front of our house)… it ALSO had a parking ticket on it. I looked at Jes’ car. Yep. Another ticket.

Here’s the thing: I realize that there are laws about parking and yadda yadda yadda… but we live in a neighborhood with little traffic. We were parked in front of our house. I appreciate police officers as much as the next person. In fact, I have family members who serve the community in that way. AND… I can understand getting a ticket if I had parked in the middle of downtown Nashville the wrong way… but I parked in front of my house on a quiet street in a neighborhood. I have a really hard time not getting irritated… knowing that 1) either one of my neighbors has nothing better to do than call the police to tell them that someone has parked their car in front of their house facing the wrong direction … GASP… or 2) a police officer feels like there’s nothing better to do in our community than drive around the neighborhood in the middle of the night looking for cars parked the wrong direction. OR… maybe I should feel better about it… and look at this in a positive light: If he is patrolling our neighborhood, great… it means he’s watching out for us… and if he has time to write the whole street a bunch of parking tickets… that must indicate that the city’s crime rate is falling.

In any case… it’s not what I wanted to wake up to…

2 hours and 46 minutes

until 5:00 (when I started this post, anyway)… I couldn’t be more grateful. My 5 am run did nothing for my exhausted, boot camp abused body except for suck every ounce of remaining energy from me… (P.S. I thought that I was going to die last night on the way home from moving furniture – after boot camp – because I was so tired and hungry. I was just going to fall into the shower and then stumble into bed… BUT… my so-very-amazingly-thoughtful roommate had made dinner for me… and it tasted so very yummy.)

Side note: My co-workers are loud.

Another side note: I write for a living… not stuff I really enjoy writing… but I feel bad for everyone reading my blogs sometimes because I feel like I get lazy. I apologize for past, present, and future ramblings, bad grammar, etc.

Back to it: Since I have been at Journal, my desk has been moved thrice… three times… tres different places in this office. The first location: Wasn’t crazy about it because my back faced the “door” and that’s just not kosher. The second location: By far my favorite… stuck in a corner where I was able to focus and get everything done with the quiet I needed – me and my music only. The third (and present) location: NOT A FAN. It’s loud and crazy and high-trafficked and my music can’t drown out the insanity. The insanity then leads to distraction, which leads to poor writing… or writer’s block… due to the lack of concentration. I don’t really know of any sort of solution… earplugs?

Update: 2 hours and 29 minutes. See what I mean? It’s taken me 15 minutes thus far… somewhat pathetic.

Since I graduated from the University of Kentucky (GO BIG BLUE… ahem… shameless plug), I have been struggling with “finding my place.” I know that sounds odd. I just want to know that I am making a difference for the better. This is especially true at work. I mean, I write sales material copy and proposals and press releases, etc… but somehow, I can’t correlate the world being a better place to my “published” pieces. Am I making a difference? Am I inspiring someone else to be better… to shoot for their best… to perform like their days are numbered? Ok… the last one sounds harsh, but it’s true. I guess my question to myself is, “what am I contributing? or, did I contribute? or, why didn’t I handle that situation differently?”

Anyway… I have had this nagging little voice in the back of my head that has popped in and out of my consciousness for the better part of 3 years telling me to go back to school to get the degree in order to do the job that I am probably most passionate about. I have yet to REALLY listen to “the whisper” but now, it is starting to sound more like a quiet voice (level above whisper). Should I wait for it to shout? I know I sound nuts… but I can’t help but contemplate the pros and cons… cons: throwing myself into debt when I am really practically debt-free… and pros: (after completing the program, of course) I would be doing something that is proactive in fighting an epidemic in our country that makes me sad… really pulls on my “heart-strings” so to speak.

Have you ever been at this point? Advice is greatly appreciated.

Happy Wacky Wednesday. At least it is here. 2 hours and 17 minutes.

P.S. for the millionth time: I am currently listening to the “Sons Of William” and I can’t get enough. GO LISTEN!