My Random Thoughts.

Know therefore that the LORD your God is God; He is the faithful God, keeping His covenant of love to a thousand generations of those who love Him and keep His commands.

Deuteronomy 7:9

Evan and I had this verse read at our wedding. I think that it’s an awesome reminder of God’s faithfulness to His children. I know that our families are very blessed – both of our sets of parents are still married, all of our siblings are Christians with a fervent love for our Lord. I am not saying that our families haven’t had their fair share of rough patches… I am just saying that it’s awesome to see how God has remained faithful through the not-so-fun times as well as the times where His blessings are incomprehensible.

At the office.

She is one of our new artists. Heather came in one day a couple of months ago to share her story with us… and to play us a couple of songs. I always like when artists come in and we can get to know them… so I was excited.

So, we all sit down and she starts to tell us her testimony. Let me just say that normally, artists all move me in some way. A lot of them crack me up, some of them tug on my heart strings a little, but NOT one of them has made me cry. Bawl, actually, until Heather.

She has been through it all and what remains the most amazing about her is that she LOVES, TRUSTS and gives ALL GLORY to God – despite what she has been through.

Hearing her story makes her (ALREADY AMAZING) music carry SO MUCH MORE of an impact. Please please watch this. Please trust me when I tell you that you’ll need a tissue… or, if you’re like me, a box of them.

Where to start?

I am so proud of my community, my friends, my family and people I don’ t even know. I wish that stories like these made the national news because instead of watching the news and feeling defeated, afraid, discouraged and sad, we would be filled with joy, love, hope and grace. We would finish watching the TV and jump off the couch and be figuring out what we could do to help someone else instead of pointing fingers and starting the blame game for this problem and that issue. We wouldn’t be so dependent on politicians in Washington campaigning and crusading for “the people” because we would DOING what JESUS called us to do – which simply, is to love Him and love each other. And with love comes generosity and joy and peace and hope and grace.

Let me recap what has happened.

Everyone should know now about the flood that devastated middle TN and parts of KY. A few weeks later and the media decided that it was newsworthy etc. You’ve probably heard that residents have put their personal lives on hold and have volunteered over 10 years and millions of dollars worth of work in just a few weeks. Strangers helping strangers. Celebrities flying “home” to Nashville to help wherever they could. People donating MILLIONS of dollars in a down economy, etc. The enormity of the flood was a story of its own. The RESPONSE to the flood, however, is unlike anything that I have ever seen.

And this weekend at Ellie’s Run continued to leave me baffled.

For the past four years, I have worked with a local Nashville-based non-profit called Ellie’s Run For Africa. Each year, hundreds of people show up and thousands of dollars are donated. This year, though, I was prepared to see less people and to not have a hefty amount of donations. I wasn’t bitter. I knew that while we need to extend our resources to help people around the world, that we don’t need to forget our own communities – especially when it has just experienced something so traumatic.

So, on Saturday morning, my husband and I got out of bed at 3 am. We headed to the park and met up with the other Ellie’s Run volunteers and prayed together. We prayed that the kids in Africa and the teachers in Africa would know that we were thinking of them. We wanted them to know that no matter what amount of money was raised, that they would know that there were people rooting for them, that there were people that BELIEVED in them and that there was a God that was BIGGER than anything.

After the prayer, we all went about the park – setting up tents and tables and chairs and the race course. I took my place in my “media tent”, called and emailed local news stations and sat back – waiting for people to come. I am a little ashamed to say that I was expecting the worst. I mean, people had lost everything and we were expecting money? We were holding the race in the SAME park where the city is dumping trash from the flood and in the very area that got flooded the worst, and we were expecting families to come out early on a Saturday morning and give their money to kids half way across the globe and run a race?

Do you know what happened? People came. And not just a few people… A LOT of people. Hundreds of people, to be exact. Overflow parking lots were opened. A few of them, actually. People ran a 5k through muddy fields thinking of these kids – wearing race bibs that said “I am running for…” and listed an African child’s name. And, after the race, they took off their bibs and wrote a personal note or prayer to each child that will be hand delivered to them next week.

And, not only were people THINKING and PRAYING for these kids in Kenya, they GAVE to these very kids that we prayed for early that morning in the dark field. They GAVE over $47,000 to those kids. The same people that lost their homes and clothes and cars helped raise over $47,000 for strangers that live in a slum in Africa – the people that are “easy” to forget. You know – “Out of site – out of mind.” But, God answered our prayer with this: He didn’t forget them. He never has and never will and will continue to provide whether we think that it’s possible or not.

I am so glad that God proved me wrong. I am so glad that our God loves us enough to show us his grace and mercy and wonder through the good and the bad.

Thank you to all who are doing instead of whining. Thank you to all of you who aren’t afraid to do something small because you think that it won’t make a difference. I can’t speak for everyone, but I have seen Jesus more in the past few months more than I have in a LONG time. I can’t speak for everyone, but I am ready to turn off the news, jump off the couch and dig in.

My prayer is that despite whatever circumstances you’re “in the middle of dealing with”  – that you would experience unspeakable joy and hope and grace in the days to come.

Thank you for allowing ME to see Jesus.

And, my heart can’t help but break for the people who are trying to clear out their homes and get them dry so that they can move back in.

Sigh.

Last night in small group, we talked about control. About the illusion of being in control, about being addicted to said illusion and all of the problems and disappointment it can cause when we realize that while we do have the freedom to make decisions, we have absolutely no control over the outcome.

I’ll go ahead and just say it: I am a control freak. I like having a plan, and sticking to the plan, and knowing what’s going to happen. A minor deviation is not a big deal here or there – but you know – those BIG deviations aren’t so comfortable.

You would think that I would have learned by now to just let it be. I mean, honestly, it’s not like I haven’t been given many opportunities to learn. Let’s do a short recap, shall we? (I am not gonna go back too far because I am getting old and that will take too long.)

Enter my senior year of high school. Not only was I battling my parents about a college decision – I wanted to go to Central FL, and my parents wanted me to stay in state – my dad lost his job. For 6 months. My mom is a stay-at-home mom so basically, it was terrifying. My dad did get a job. In Minneapolis. And I stayed “in-state”. (Does that really count if your parents move 1,000 miles away?)

Enter college. Senior year of college actually. I began looking for jobs in Nashville. I had always wanted to live here and always wanted to work in the music industry. I applied and interviewed and came so close on so many occasions, but my first job actually ended up being at a manufacturing company in Lexington. To say I was not pleased was the understatement of the year. I was miserable. All my friends left Lexington, except for one (thank God). I spent hours on the phone crying to my mom asking why God didn’t want me to be happy.

God then changed his mind… Enter my chance to move to Nashville. I jumped at a job with a start-up marketing firm with a boss I knew I could learn a lot from. Three months later, after I moved, I was jobless.

I was devastated and living in a city with two friends. My roommate and a friend who I knew from UK.

THEN, God provided a job at a record label. AWESOME. I loved it, at first. But it didn’t pay the bills, didn’t provide insurance, and I didn’t have vacation. Um… so I prayed and prayed and prayed that things would change. And then, I quit.

And took a job for a magazine publisher. One week into this job, I knew that I made the biggest mistake of my life. I contemplated running back to my boss at the label and telling him that I was an idiot and that I had lost my mind and that I needed my job back. WASN’T AN OPTION. I really really struggled here, and wondered WHY IN THE WORLD God would let me do something so stupid? Why why why didn’t he just let the label work with me so that I could love my job AND be comfortable?

Oh. What’s that you say? What God? You had a reason for putting me at the magazine publisher? What’s that? Oh yeah. That’s where I met my husband.

So I stayed miserable at work for a long while. And, then, when I decide to give up control… What does God do? Give me a coveted position at the label that I had been eying for 2 years.

Do you see a pattern developing here? Instead of waiting for God’s provision, I (although ashamed to admit), tried to figure out what I did to deserve the things that I DEEMED UNFAIR. Instead of refusing to see that God was answering my prayers (HELLO RACHEL – Godly husband – check, Amazing job – check.), I wallowed in self-pity.

Ugh. I am not going to lie, I am a little disgusted with myself.

Anyway – the point is – it’s not fun and it’s hard to be patient. It’s hard to admit that I am NOT in control. But if I was, and things went my way… then I may have gone to school in Central FL, never gotten to Nashville, and never met my husband. I have learned that it’s not ALL ABOUT ME (ouch.)

While I am a part of God’s story, I have to learn that I am not the author. (another ouch.)

This, however, also means that the God who breathed us into existence is writing our story. and quite frankly – He’s a better writer than I am.

And, finally, I am OK with it.

I would like to talk about food. Specifically, today, about Pumpkin Bread – maybe one of God’s greatest gifts.

A recipe – from Real Simple. I have added my “more healthy choice ingredients” in bold.

• 1 cup pumpkin pie filling (not pure pumpkin)
• 1/2 cup canola oil, plus more for the pan (1/2 cup of applesauce… You’ll still need to oil the pan slightly, however)
• 3/4 cup granulated sugar (3/4 cup of turbinado or organic sugar)
• 1/2 cup molasses
• 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
• 2 cups all-purpose flour (2 cups of whole wheat flour)
• 1 1/2 teaspoons baking powder
• 1/2 teaspoon baking soda
• 3/4 teaspoon kosher salt
• 1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
• 1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
• 1/4 teaspoon ground cloves
• 1/2 teaspoon ground ginger

My day is better just thinking about this stuff… Yum.

Oh… and there are only 22 days until Thanksgiving… so… this recipe will only make you more prepared for the day where giving thanks, eating, family and football is all that matters…(not really, but you know what I mean…)